“Happily ever NOW”

“happily ever afters” only exist in movies….but we can create “happy ever NOWs”

Here are 5 steps….

1. FLAUNTING instead of fixing your flaws…

Quite frankly perfection…ideals are overrated… STOP right now whatever it is that you are trying to fix. If you have a flat nose… let it be…you might just end up without a nose with all that surgery. Let go of all that lightening cream just to make your skin appear lighter….at least no one will be able to tell that you are *blushing* and most people prefer their coffee without milk anyway…oh and please  keep that gap on your teeth open…it makes your smile look interesting.

2. ACCEPTING instead of changing his/her imperfections

…Once we acknowledge our own imperfections, we then need to accept those of others… If he is too short… Let it be…you don’t have to wear flat shoes all the time…ROCK your heels…it does not make him less of a man…if she growls like a pig…let it be…growl with her if need be…

3. TOTALLY IMMERSE yourself in the moment

…Allow yourself to lose yourself in it..whatever it is that you are doing that makes you happy…Don’t over think it…just let it be….shut the world out, it brings unnecessary negativity…Don’t just let it be another occurrence…make it a Moment…

4. DON’T COMPARE it to a movie scene

Movies follow scripts…real life follows instincts…so Don’t compare…that scene you saw was rehearsed and edited….Embrace the moments you have for what they are…not for what they could be or should be…remove all expectations…Don’t be upset if he doesn’t say what you want him to say.

5. DON’T  RUSH it, take your time

The best things in life should be slowly savored…so take your time…allow yourself to take the time to enjoy your time….experience it to its fullest…Don’t rob yourself…

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image sourced from: Fab.com

“She would rather undress in the DARK”

“I don’t want him to see my scar and stretch marks. I would rather undress in the dark” she says…

In the real world there is no body double, just the dark….Image

The other day I was talking to a guy friend of mine and he was telling me that his girlfriend was so self-conscious about her body because of her deep wounded operation scar and stretch marks, that she refused to allow him to see her naked…It was so bad in fact that the one time he suggested that they bath together, she went in the bath tub with her T-shirt on… Their intimate moments were spent in the dark, he never knew what she looked like  beneath her clothes, only how her skin felt…he could only imagine…

It made me ponder how stressful that must be, to think that there  must be many women out there who do the same thing and would probably never admit to it…its …We watch slender  flawless skinned women parade in their swimsuits and lingerie in movies, music videos, magazines etc … depictions of ideal,  celebrated standards of beauty… and secretly we want to look that way because we want to be desired and wanted but we look at those stretch marks… those deep scars that just won’t go away (well unless you thousands of rands for cosmetic surgery)  and we can’t bear to look at ourselves in the mirror let alone let someone else…so we disguise ourselves with the dark…

” Until I learn to accept myself as I am or can afford to do something about it…I shall undress in the dark”…she says

Accepting your flaws is not as easy as it sounds, its a journey; probably a life-long one for a lot of us…but neccessary if we ever to achieve true happiness with ourselves…and besides….life would be boring if we all looked the same…

...So to you Sir over there…Its either you kiss me with all my scars and blemishes or leave me alone…

#lessonslearned

Image sourced: rocketdock.com