“She would rather undress in the DARK”

“I don’t want him to see my scar and stretch marks. I would rather undress in the dark” she says…

In the real world there is no body double, just the dark….Image

The other day I was talking to a guy friend of mine and he was telling me that his girlfriend was so self-conscious about her body because of her deep wounded operation scar and stretch marks, that she refused to allow him to see her naked…It was so bad in fact that the one time he suggested that they bath together, she went in the bath tub with her T-shirt on… Their intimate moments were spent in the dark, he never knew what she looked like  beneath her clothes, only how her skin felt…he could only imagine…

It made me ponder how stressful that must be, to think that there  must be many women out there who do the same thing and would probably never admit to it…its …We watch slender  flawless skinned women parade in their swimsuits and lingerie in movies, music videos, magazines etc … depictions of ideal,  celebrated standards of beauty… and secretly we want to look that way because we want to be desired and wanted but we look at those stretch marks… those deep scars that just won’t go away (well unless you thousands of rands for cosmetic surgery)  and we can’t bear to look at ourselves in the mirror let alone let someone else…so we disguise ourselves with the dark…

” Until I learn to accept myself as I am or can afford to do something about it…I shall undress in the dark”…she says

Accepting your flaws is not as easy as it sounds, its a journey; probably a life-long one for a lot of us…but neccessary if we ever to achieve true happiness with ourselves…and besides….life would be boring if we all looked the same…

...So to you Sir over there…Its either you kiss me with all my scars and blemishes or leave me alone…

#lessonslearned

Image sourced: rocketdock.com

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After “the honeymoon”

What happens when the butterflies go away…?, when that giddy laugh fades away….?, when that can’t stop thinking about him/her look dwindles…?

Romantic Movies have  happy ever afters because everything starts and  ends with the honeymoon phase….We don’t see the grind, the day-to-day efforts of  making love  work….But in reality we grow out of the honeymoon phase and we begin to realize that there is practicality that comes with keeping real love alive….certain quality traits surface that we don’t like, that aren’t ideal, that were hidden in the beginning and we struggle, we fight, we break-up and make-up trying to hold on to the honey moon…we want it to last  because movies imply that they do….

Image

….Yes those butterflies feel damn good and we should enjoy them while they last BUT we should also accept  it when they are gone…

#realtalk

An unlikely encounter: it involves a sandwich and a deep Zulu accent

tired all starshahahaha, just thinking about this story cracks me up…

okay okay so this is how it went down….

I had just knocked off work and decided to go the library. On my way up the stairs, I see a lonely,tired not too bad-looking guy sitting down, salvaging what looked like a two slice Sandwich stuffed with cheese and polony, *boy was he hungry you would swear the sandwich was going to  run away*…Anyway as I approach the stairs he says pointing out his sandwich; “Would you like to join me” (in the deepest Zulu accent)… In my response I pause, confused thinking to my self ” Did this boy just ask me to join him with his half eaten homemade  sandwich, wearing worn out All-stars that look like that they have been passed down  3 generations’…So I smirk and he has this serious look on his face as if he is proposing marriage and then I burst out laughing…*thinking Zulu man is serious right now, he is tryna push game*…and then he started laughing too, hahahaha… So we laugh for a minute and as the laugh slowly fades away he says “well a sandwich is all I had, you know, I had to try something”….ncahhh, yeah I know quite sweet…He might not have had roses or chocolate but I was humbled….

#unlikelyencounters