Sorry to burst your bubble but I don’t think you’re the greatest…I think you’re human

 Hi there perfectionist…world’s greatest…I just wanted to remind you that you’re human…

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I thought you should know that I refuse to put you on a pedestal and impose unrealistic expectations on you…You maybe the worlds greatest footballer…the fashion icon…the musical genius…but to me you are simply a human-being…an imperfectly packaged gift..with great capability and determination  but a fragile heart…wherein lies fear, insecurity, a constant battle with how to project thyself …”How do I just be, when my being isn’t enough for others” she asks…”I need to get it right” she says… “It has to be perfect”….”What will they think” she asks….I say all that pressure will make you inhuman…fall…cry….shout…they might judge you but its only because it reminds them that you’re human…somewhere along the way they seem to have forgotten that…

Someone lied and said that perfection is the ultimate standard…that anything else short of it is unacceptable….and some how we all got brainwashed in to that standard…so I recognize your desire for it…I see it in your efforts; when you at the dance studio all day  tirelessly practicing that dance routine …making sure that your performance will be on point… I see it on your overnight stays at the library, trying to get an A on the big test for the semester…putting the last touches to that song you wrote even after the whole band has left…I see it when you standing in front of the mirror, practicing your smile and pose to get that right red-carpet look….but I also see the cracks….the trips….the vulnerability…the lies…the mistakes…

Problem is we are celebrated for our achievements…but  ridiculed for our mistakes and failures…”How could she…?” they say…”Did you see what he did…?”…and there you are in tears….feeling like you just not good enough….I think you not only good enough…you are great enough…in fact so great that I expect you to fall and crack again and again…I recognize your greatness through your failures…and mishaps… 

They think that you have it all together…because you make them think that…forget the labels…forget the stares and whispers….simply embrace being simply human…

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My perfect spring outfit: “A cute dress with my bare feet”

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(image sourced from: http://www.mindbodygreen.com)

Forget the heels…the unrealistically high stilettos…the platforms…the printed pattern wedges…better yet…forget the pumps or sneaks too…just let your feet be…

Ladies before you shoot me…just hear me out for a sec…

Its a beautiful Saturday afternoon  and you busy getting ready to go hang out  with your girls and homeboys. You got your sexy spring dress on…check…your hair/wig is all curled out ..check…your makeup is done…got that bright pink lip color (you probably saying…” Yeah look at me” in the mirror”)…and of course those painfully high spring wedges awaiting your feet by your wardrobe door…..Grab handbag and ready to go (Hmmmmm “look at you they say”…”Damn girl”…you feel like you on cloud nine don’t you..)…hahahaha then after a bit of mingling and a bit of walking around….cloud nine quickly becomes cloud none …you realize your feet have gotten a tasteful beating from those new wedges that you couldn’t wait to wear…all red and swollen…probably even have blisters on your corns….OUCH…poor feet…if they could speak, they would probably say *gorgeous weapons you got there, lady*…Suddenly you sitting more than walking…some straps have  been untied…. finally your feet have been released from all that torture…*sigh*…lol and at that moment you probably don’t care how ugly your feet are or how horrible your nail polish looks…and slowly your feet make their way to the ground…aaaaahhhhh doesn’t that feel nice… the grass…the soft sand…the wind blowing through your feet…you have finally been released from the pain of beauty…freedom at last…*wooohooooo*…We at  The Unpolished Cut would like to  say “take your time lady”…”soak your feet into the freedom of that moment”….we will not judge…even if your feet smell like old cheese…go for it…the air will wipe out the smell eventually…we will talk to you from a distance in the meanwhile…hahahahahaha

I am sure not all heels are bad…but can I suggest that you pair up that spring dress with well nothing but your feet…yep no heels….no wedges…no platforms….no nothing…sure your feet will get dirty but it will be a more painless experience …who knows maybe it will even give you a chance to connect with your ancestors (well if you believe in such)…beauty does not have to be painful…sometimes all it takes is going back to basics…

So if you looking for the perfect spring outfit…at least you have one less thing to worry about…HEELS!!!!!

*Excuse me while I hang my wedges*

Random talk is often the most refreshing…

Have you ever had one of those spontaneous, of the head conversations with someone…often someone you rarely speak to…?

I often find myself in these random and unexpected conversations with people I barely even know and I always find them to be the most refreshing because you kinda just speak, there isn’t any direction really…just meaningful words with unintended consequences…there is no expectations…no hesitations…just an exchange of spontaneous thoughts between individuals

In fact I think random talk is often the most honest and I guess that’s why its so refreshing…because often we when we talk especially with people we know we tend to over analyse and over think what we say, how to respond…what to anticipate…certain unconscious etiquette we follow…its like we have this unwritten script that precedes us…

But random is so effortless…its like you talk without thinking yet you  thinking…its like unconscious talk…its when the mind is at its most relaxed sipping cocktails under palm trees soaking in the sun…the words you utter are unhurried but mellow flowing at their own tune…making up their own rhyme…one beat at a time

lol…if you haven’t had random talk, just know that it often begins with the most obvious Image

things like “the sky is really blue today” …sometimes the most awkward questions like “wouldn’t it be cool if we could all walk upside down?” or “walk around invisibly naked on a really hot day?”….hahahahahaha…yep that’s random talk …and this is when great ideas are born, insights are found and where the self can be completely rejuvenated ..awakened to new truths and new choices for expression…its like a mind-makeover…

So tell me whats the most random things you’ve ever said or asked…?

 

Cheers to the “You” that they don’t see

CHEERS

So we speak about the multifaceted human being….you know the one with multiple yet contradictory sides… sides that we can’t  imagine…sides that we envy…sides that we love to  hate…

But here at the “The unpolished cut” , we would like to toast to that invisible side of you…you know that side that the rest of us don’t see ….because its that side of you that only you know…your imperfect little secret…

So we say cheers to the you who recites her words for her first date, rehearsing exactly how the conversation will pan out but ditches that script when the date eventually occurs…

… To the you who quickly picks up that last piece of chocolate when no one is watching, after its gotten a taste of mother earth’s very own unpolished floor

…To the you who quietly creeps to the  kitchen in the middle of the night for that last piece of cheesecake …

… To the you who picks her nose and disguises it with a scratch…

….To the you who says “okay I can do this” before an important moment…

….To the you who says no when everyone else says yes…

….To the you who releases her breathless stomach after stripping off that super tight dress..

…Cheers to the you that movies can only attempt to portray  but comes naturally to you…

 

… CHEERS TO THE YOU THAT JUST DOES YOU…

love always : The Unpolished Cut

 

 

“The best moments in life are UNPLANNED”

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Sometimes you gotta ditch the schedules….the checklists….the to-do-list…the expectations….and just gooooooooooo!

It begins with a long drive to nowhere….I had just reconnected with a friend from high school through FACEBOOK (thank God for it)….on second thought we were actually never really friends in high school. He was that weird guy that no one really spoke to, but I had always been intrigued by him…there was just something about him…although any interaction between us began and ended with a “HELLO”…

Then one day we randomly had a conversation on Facebook and then decided to extended the conversation in a more personal manner …So we met up and decided to just drive…..(I know you probably thinking that was risque of me but my instinct just told me to go…and like they always say trust your instincts, right…?)…so we drove…no maps…or GPS… of where we were going or what we were going to do…we just followed the road…

Eventually we reached the end of the road and we decided to just park there…yep right there in the middle of nowhere …amongst the greens and the unknown…  So we decided to sit on the roof of the car and admire from above…for a moment we just sat in silence…listening to nothing really…but that was the beauty of it…like we spend so much time talking,…some times even competing with one another to do so…talking on top of each other’s voice and never really just listening…For some reason we think its awkward to let seconds go by without saying a word…but that is the strange thing, it wasn’t awkward at all…it was like we were conversing but not through words…it was like our spirits were talking to one another…having a big fat conversation through our souls….sharing small laughs that often go unnoticed… I was listening and understanding…(two things we take for granted)…I could see the picture clearly…it was almost like we step outside of ourselves…..

…then after a while, he uttered “I am so glad we re-met”…because that is exactly what was it a re-encounter…only this time our conversation did not end with a “HELLO”…he continued “I don’t know you but I know you”…..”Someday I would like to be more than your friend”…”But right now I would really like to continue soaking in your energy”…call it cheesy or corny but I thought it was really sincere…so honest…soooooo unexpected…and for some weird reason, in that moment…it became clear to me  what I wanted and did not want…Anyway we carried on talking with brief moments of silence and then eventually we drove to nearby bar and drank the evening away…well he watched me drink because he couldn’t….and eventually we returned to the routine of our day-to-day grind.

…Indeed the best moments in life are unplanned but what I realized even more is that sometimes we find ourselves in other people’s confessions…

So go on drivvvvvvve…you never what you will discover or rediscover…I DARE YOU

 

 

” That moment when you’re caught talking to yourself”

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That awkward stare you get when you’ve been caught talking to yourself…

So the other day  I am standing in front of the mirror of a public toilet, speaking to myself …trying to make sense of a situation I had encountered. It had been pondering in my mind and I just felt that I had to let out…hoping to find clarity on the matter…So there I am going at it, saying…”but what just happened”…”Did he really mean what I thought he mean’t”?…”what if…”…so like…”…twisting my hair…rolling my eyes… straight face…it was going down in that moment…like I was having a proper serious conversation with myself…lol…hahahaha…Ana in my mind it did not even occur to me that I was talking to myself…I was just wanted to let it all out, blow some steam…Sure, I could’ve called a friend but I wanted to make sense of it to myself first….keeping the thoughts in my head was just not working…

….But little did I know that I had an unexpected listener, who had been comfortably chilling on the toilet…listening to every word I had said…So she walks out the door, comes straight at me and says “I think you need someone to speak to”…”I can assure I could be more of help than the mirror”…*so embarrassing*…In that moment I just thought I was soooo abnormal…but then we laughed it off…”Gosh she must have thought that I am so weird”…

And then I thought “No man ” (trying to justify it in my head) …I have seen plenty of people talking to themselves in their cars, while walking on the street, in a taxi, a bus…you name it……Eish but it does look weird from the outside…although it does not feel that way when you are doing it…

So I say…”kick the stares to the curve”… say …”Excuse me can’t you see that I am having a conversation with myself here” …laugh alone if you must (okay don’t make it too obvious now)…in fact have a glass of wine while you at it… LET IT ALL OUT…

So tell what are some of the funniest…strangest things you have heard from people talking to themselves?

“How about you just tried being You…”

DO IT#imperfection is underrated

We spend our lives comparing ourselves to others and their ideas, trying to conform to standards to…”how its supposed to be”…”how it should be”… “That is not how it supposed to look” * they say* according to who I ask?…a bunch of “somebodies” who do not even live up to the same standards they set”…

…Ladies and gents…GIVE URSELF A BREAK….whatever shortcoming you might have, the same person you trying to imitate…or ideal you trying to achieve,  has one too…

We try to be this and that…but who is going to be YOU? …I mean really YOU…the good and the bad…flaws and all 

Excuse me while  I give myself a break…with a kit kat…lol

Are you living life ‘waiting’ to feel good?…

This is so enlightening

MindMedicine Blog

Most people spend their live their whole life experience in a state of ‘waiting’…

Whether it’s waiting to get what they ‘think’ is a perfect job, what they ‘think’ is a perfect relationship, or whether it’s to become a millionaire, a success, or to achieve some specific goal they ‘think’ will bring them happiness…

It is a constant projection into the future, a constant projection away from where they are…

People constantly ‘think’ they need ‘things’ in order to be fulfilled and at peace inside themselves and the world…

This could not be further from the truth… this is the delusion…

If you are always waiting to feel at peace and fulfilled when you get what you think you want, then that may motivate you to make millions of pounds and to achieve your goal, but even if you do, you will still feel a deep dissatisfaction and disconnection at…

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“Happily ever NOW”

“happily ever afters” only exist in movies….but we can create “happy ever NOWs”

Here are 5 steps….

1. FLAUNTING instead of fixing your flaws…

Quite frankly perfection…ideals are overrated… STOP right now whatever it is that you are trying to fix. If you have a flat nose… let it be…you might just end up without a nose with all that surgery. Let go of all that lightening cream just to make your skin appear lighter….at least no one will be able to tell that you are *blushing* and most people prefer their coffee without milk anyway…oh and please  keep that gap on your teeth open…it makes your smile look interesting.

2. ACCEPTING instead of changing his/her imperfections

…Once we acknowledge our own imperfections, we then need to accept those of others… If he is too short… Let it be…you don’t have to wear flat shoes all the time…ROCK your heels…it does not make him less of a man…if she growls like a pig…let it be…growl with her if need be…

3. TOTALLY IMMERSE yourself in the moment

…Allow yourself to lose yourself in it..whatever it is that you are doing that makes you happy…Don’t over think it…just let it be….shut the world out, it brings unnecessary negativity…Don’t just let it be another occurrence…make it a Moment…

4. DON’T COMPARE it to a movie scene

Movies follow scripts…real life follows instincts…so Don’t compare…that scene you saw was rehearsed and edited….Embrace the moments you have for what they are…not for what they could be or should be…remove all expectations…Don’t be upset if he doesn’t say what you want him to say.

5. DON’T  RUSH it, take your time

The best things in life should be slowly savored…so take your time…allow yourself to take the time to enjoy your time….experience it to its fullest…Don’t rob yourself…

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image sourced from: Fab.com

“I love my unshaven legs”

Week after week month after month we go through that excruciating process of shaving and waxing….

How about if we just let our bodily hair be…would it be so bad…?Image

Its a bright and sunny day you want to rock your mini skirt with that sexy spaghetti top….eish then you look in the mirror and your under arms have grown a mini bush of hair  …then you try to convince yourself that you can keep your arms down the whole day (haha think again), you know someone is going to want hug you….maybe put some baby oil to flatten down the hair on your legs….*hmmm maybe not*…you go to the bathroom … those blades and hair removal creams are staring at you ….then slowly that dreaded process begins again… ouch! ouch! ouch!

But here is a well-known celebrity “Mo’Nique”, who despite popular beauty standards especially in the celeb world where there so much pressure to look a particular way, she  refuses to shave her legs….I read an article about her once regarding this and I thought “WOW” how bold, how daring, how different…it is totally not ideal  yet she refuses to conform…To the world it seems undesirable, imperfect, dirty but to her its beautiful, sexy…she works those legs…she struts her body and  exudes confidence while doing it….How inspiring…how brave …how important….what an example….

It made realize that when one truly embraces their quirks, or what seems like a flaw to others…confidence, contentment and self love become  permanent imprints to your self esteem…yes they will try to break you with their harsh comments; which by the way  are merely reflections of their inner struggles ….but you smile and look at them because you are happy and fulfilled…you don’t need anyone’s validation…and soon they begin to accept you because you have accepted yourself….

You go girl…flaunt those unshaven legs….

If Mo’Nique can do it so can you

#cheerstomyhair